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Memories ??

1/8/2018

3 Comments

 
This weekend there was an agility trail locally. I went to show my support to a fellow dalmatian owner here in the State that’s running her dalmatian Pixie. I had my boy Chaos with me because we went to do a little training to while I was out. So anyway, I had him in with me visiting and had several people come up and ask if I was running this weekend or yay your finally back and it brought back so many memories and feelings. No, I was not running him. Not because we couldn’t because we could and should be running but I’m not.
So, as I lay here awake I am of course overthinking like I do and one of my topics is running agility again. I had an amazing first Dalmatian in Princess, she was my world and she was an amazing agility partner! We were known very well in the agility world and she has so many agility titles but we didn’t get to finish. I’m mad about that. Really mad. She was taken from me too soon. It’s been 10 1/2 years and it still hurts. I wasn’t ready. I know we are never ready to loose our beloved pets but I lost her so unexpectedly. I was told she was okay. I was made to feel like I was overreacting and nothing was wrong with her. That was by a professional!! They were suppose to know. I was suppose to know.
I really thought I had came to terms with her loss. The phone call none of us ever want to get and I received and it played over in my head day after day, week after week, month after month and even year after year on that dreadful day I will never forget.

So much has changed in my life since me and PP ran agility together. I knew right away I couldn’t run agility with Solo, one because it was too hard knowing we had so much more to do with Princess and me and two Solos heart was never in it. She didn’t love agility like her mom did.
Now, al these years later I have Princess grand puppies, 2 are mine and remind us so much of Princess that we knew a peice of her was still with us.
So I start training them in agility along with obedience and of course conformation. Both are ready to start trialing. Well, have been ready but still trail after trail goes by and I don’t enter. Why people ask and then look at me like I am nuts when I say we’re not ready. Well, that’s because they know that’s not true. The saying, "If you fall off a horse, you get back up. I am not a quitter.", well I feel like I am a quitter, I feel like I can’t get back on that horse so to speak. Why? I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am somehow betraying Princess. I worry I will emotionally loose if I go back out there. How do I break this? Why can’t I see what I am missing with these beautiful Princess grand babies here sitting or laying in front of me?
Sorry to blab on and on this all just hit me and I needed to write it.
The loss of a pet is never easy. Enjoy every moment with them. Because you never know when it will be your last.
Broken hearted 💔
Picture
Princess and me in Kenai in 2003 I believe. Such grace and elegance.
3 Comments
Test
1/8/2018 01:18:31 am

Testing to see if it’s wkrking

Reply
Cindy link
1/8/2018 09:06:31 am

Your words have touched my broken heart. I too loss my beloved 12 yr old Dalmatian, Heidi this past year. I can't seem to heal from her going. It will be a year this Feb 2018. I continue to grieve and cry often even now. Heidi was the best thing in my life. She knew she was a special Dal to me and everyone else that knew her. She ruled me and others for love and attention. Now I look back and feel I could have should have done more in order to keep us together for ever. She was and always be my beloved child. Now when I see other Dalmatians I see her in them. It's like her beautiful unique face is seen in others. They look alot like her, even though it's just the way a Dal looks. It belongs to her. I think people don't understand the love one can have for a Dalmatian and their uniqueness. I cannot and will not feel the same for any other breed. Forever and always Heidi the Dalmatian will be in my heart and always on my mind. I feel there is just a different kind of bond with a Dalmatian them any other canine. I love you Heidi.

Reply
Kimberly
1/8/2018 11:28:40 pm

Thank you for sharing your feelings about your Heidi girl. She sounds beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ??

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    Kimberly Beam

    Fireday Dalmatians, the Alaskan Spots!

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